Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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