I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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