So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
vagina is talking i cant
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
