My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
