the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
