so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
we're so committed to being not committed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
