remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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