Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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