So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
