don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
