He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Mom said you looked used
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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