So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
