Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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