they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
