Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
