I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
