Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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