woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
