his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
