Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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