Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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