You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I AM VODKA MAN
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
