i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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