Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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