who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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