yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
