I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
