three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
