I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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