Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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