What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
