Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She announced her abortion via fbk
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
