Yo dont text me then not text me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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