guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
