Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
