THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
But theres a keg here and me gusta
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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