I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
