you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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