Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
