I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I've blown a few things in my day
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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