I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
