omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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