I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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