Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
