Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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