Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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