I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
