I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
