your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
