Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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