Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
