So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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