you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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