it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
