Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
