and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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