Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
