Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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