Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
