Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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