just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
