He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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